


How Not to Train Your Puppy by Stiles 'I'm-In-Over-My-Head' Stilinski

by Rose1989



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cute-Derek, Fluff, M/M, Witchcraft, puppy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-04 00:14:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2896106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose1989/pseuds/Rose1989
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He bit me! Derek bit me!”</p><p>"Scott... seriously?" </p><p>"That - that... oh, god, I'm bleeding!"</p><p>"You have werewolf healing powers,” Stiles deadpans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Not to Train Your Puppy by Stiles 'I'm-In-Over-My-Head' Stilinski

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I'm in love with cliched story lines. Who isn't fond of a particular surly character turning into something small and fluffy?
> 
>  
> 
> Only edited by myself so there may or may not be a few mistakes.

“Yeah... that's not him."

 

"Stiiiiles, for the last time, it is him," Scott whines, exasperatedly.

 

Stiles frowns again, thoughtfully chewing at his thumb, and just stares some more. 

And then some more, just to be sure.

In front of the two boys sat a puppy. And, no, not just any puppy. If Stiles had to say out loud, he'd say it was the most adorable, fluffiest, oh-god-I-want-to-squeeze-it-it's-so-cute puppy in all of the entire population of puppies ever existed. He'd take it home with him right now if he knew his dad wouldn't have an aneurism and... oh yeah, if whatever Scott was saying wasn’t complete and utter ridiculous. 

 

"Nope. I don't see it."

 

Scott scrunches his face up and, honest to god, stomps his foot. Like a child. "I was there! I saw it happen, Stiles! I swear, that puppy, sitting in front of you right now - No, seriously, look.” Scott grabs his face and roughly angles it down. "This is Derek! Why would I lie about that?!" 

Stiles bats Scott's hand away and rubs at his cheek with a pained disgruntled expression. "Yes, thank you, Scott, I'm looking - I swear I'm looking at the cute puppy, okay? I just-... Really?" He flaps a hand in the pile of fluffs general direction. "It's the tiny little waggy tail, dude. Or even just the tiny little everything - oh man, look at those paws! Gah! He's looking - oh god- he's looking at me! With those puppy eyes! And he's happy?! I can't fathom - nope."

Scott gapes at him in disbelief. It doesn't take a genius to know that Scott has completely missed the point and really wants to strangle him right now. "Puppies are always happy, Stiles! That's why happy things always consist of sunshine, rainbows and... duh, puppies! Have you ever heard of a depressed puppy?! No! They're easily pleased and they're happy! Happy happy happy puppies!" 

And, okay, Stiles really needs to stop babbling and get to his point before Scott explodes or, really, gives birth to his frustration, or whatever. Maybe even before he runs out of moisture from that spit shower he just gave. He doesn't think he's ever seen his best friend so... strained before. 

 

"Whoa, hey, calm down! I know you're getting your exhausted face on, I'm just saying, you can't really blame my skepticism, dude. When is Derek ever happy to see me? I thought the power of his hatred would, at least, stem to other forms as well. Even small, fluffy ones. You say he ran away from you and sniffed me out? All on his own?"

 

Scott rolls his eyes and grunts in affirmation, clearly embarrassed to be reminded he'd almost lost his tiny alpha to the wilderness.

 

"It's just hard to believe, man. Look at that toothy grin - jeez, why is he still looking at me?! - It... just - ugh. Even last week, the closest to seeing him ever smile was when I tripped and fell into all that nasty gooey stuff. You remember that, right? That's just cruel, man. No one lets their friends-" Scott snorts. "Okay... 'acquaintance' fall into witch puke. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone... god, it took me, like, a week to get the stuff just out of my ears. So gross-"

 

"Dude, I thought Derek did that almost pained smile thing when you tried to give him - what did you call it? Goo something?" 

 

Stiles sighs and smiles in fond memory. "Yeah... 'The Great Stilinski Gooey Hug of Love'. No matter what Jackson said, he loved that one. And no, that was a grimace. A grimace is totally not a smile.”

 

Scott shrugs, not caring in the slightest. "I still don't really get where you're going with this. So Derek likes you now? Big deal."

 

Stiles shakes his head and crouches down, holding his hand out. The Derek-puppy yips excitedly at his full attention and hops over to lick his hand, ears flapping and tongue still lolling out happily. He can't help but smile, wondering if Derek will remember all this once they figure out how to change him back. They better do it soon because the urge to coo and snuggle is hard to hold back. He's actually not so sure the witch was after Derek, so much as small cute animals are Stiles weakness. Might as well gut him while he's dis-... distracted... hmm...

 

"-iles... Hey! Hey, Stiles!"

 

Stiles jolts out of his daze, eyes wide, only to realise he's burying his nose in something so so soft and… absently scratching at teeny tiny… ears? He sighs. “Dammit, I’m a goner.” Derek wiggles excitedly in his arms.

 

Scott grins and slaps him on the back. "Already, Stiles? You do remember the class bunny incident of 03, right?" 

 

Stiles gapes and quickly puts Derek on the floor, shuddering, purposely ignoring the nudges and small whimpering noises. He can resist. "Dude! Totally not the same thing and you know it. So I like animals? So what? There was really really no need to throw that traumatic experience back in my face. Like, ever.”

 

Scott rolls his eyes but remains quiet. Good. He doesn’t need someone reminding him he'd almost sat on Gerard the rabbit back in 2nd Grade. He'd loved that rabbit to death, becoming extremely attached too quickly - way way too quickly - and almost "killing" him caused Stiles to cry himself to sleep for over a week. He'd always been a bit of an over-dramatic kid, he can admit, but he'd felt so guilty. It took his mom and two teachers to finally sit him down and explain that Gerard is absolutely fine and that he’d already forgiven Stiles. That Gerard doesn't like to see little boys and girls miss school and cry, especially over little old him.   
He had believed it, of course. He didn't want to upset the poor rabbits sensibilities any more, after all. It was a sweet gesture and he strongly suspects it was his mom’s genius idea to convince the teachers to play along with her.

 

He sighs. God, he missed his mom. 

 

He shakes his head and looks up, catching Scott giving him a sympathetic smile. It says something about his and Scott’s friendship that only Scott knows the difference between his thoughtful grieving silence and his ‘up-to-something’ silence. He clears his throat, awkwardly. Stiles really hates showing people how vulnerable he is. Scott knows that too. He moves on. “Anyways, let's just take Derek to Deaton, yeah? This is really out of my, ahem, expertise. For god sake, look, he can't even think like himself,” Stiles says, pointing down at Derek holding out a paw for him, whimpering. "Let alone go all alpha for us. We're essentially so very unprotected I'm pretty sure we're going to die."

 

Now, Stiles expected some optimistic spew about positive thinking, and the like, but Scott seems to be agreeing with him, nodding like he was the exhausted puppy. And, okay, it is close to 5am and he doesn’t know what they were doing up so late in the first place but trust Scott to blame this all on himself. 

 

Stiles grabs Scott by the shoulders and shakes him a little. "No, just no. There can't be two of me right now, that's not how we work, man. You're supposed to say some positive crap about working together and how things possibly couldn't fail because we have the power of love, or whatever, and I'm supposed to snort, ignore you, research a little, and flail about in the background. Remember? It always works out eventually."

 

Scott frowns. "But it's all my fault, I distracted Derek and then this happens. How can I be a part of this pack if I put them in danger all the time?"

 

Stiles sighs. "You don't put them in danger, we put ourselves in danger - Derek especially, he's Alpha. So, what can I say? We're a bunch of reckless, self-sacrificing saps. You shouldn't let that rest on your shoulders."

 

"I know, it's just..." Scott trails off, rolls his eyes, and sighs. “Okay, okay, we need a plan."

 

Stiles grins and claps his hands, rubbing them together, excitedly. "That's the spirit, buddy! I would totally plan this plan with you but I already said Deaton's our best bet. You keep that little brain spinning, though. We always need a Plan B."

 

Scott groans, following Stiles as he starts wandering off. "Every time, Stiles. You do this every time!

 

Stiles snorts but otherwise doesn't resign to comment. 

 

 

And so, a few hours before school starts, saw them both jumping into his jeep and riding off into the approaching dawn. Scott finally finishes telling him the story of exactly what happened in the woods so late into the night and Derek just sits on his lap as he drives, being an utter distraction as per usual. 

Not that Derek has ever sat on his lap to be a distraction in his human form before. Ha. He shifts in his seat. Nope, definitely not. Stiles would most definitely know about that. Try getting him not to notice that- that fine ass on his-

 

"Um... Stiles?" Scott looks disturbed somewhat and it takes a faint "hmm?" and too long a second for Stiles to catch up as to why. He chokes, feeling his cheeks burn with embarrassment. If he wasn't driving or, pretty much, sitting, he'd most likely do himself an injury right now. He forgets sometimes that Scott is a supernatural creature with one hell of a supernatural sense of smell. The rational side of his brain is telling him to calm, though - Yes, Scott can definitely smell his arousal but, most likely - hopefully - doesn't know who it's directed at. His panicked side, however, is telling him to ditch the whole situation, because Stiles is really obvious and Scott must know, and hide out in his bedroom for the rest of eternity. 

Scott absolutely does not need to know about his pathetic crush on Derek. He'd never live it down.

So he clears his throat awkwardly and moves on with years of perfected nonchalance. Ignoring the obvious is his forte after all. 

 

Well, he would move on if Derek would... just-

 

"Dude, can you just grab Derek, please? The licking is really inappropriate." He tries to shove the puppy aside a little. ‘And I'm trying to drive’ is what he should have gone with, if Scott's giggle is anything to go by. 

 

"Aw, but he likes you, Stiles." Scott giggles again. So immature. 

 

"Just-" Stiles flaps his hand in annoyance.

 

"Okay, okay. Come here, little Derek - aw, so cute. Come here. I’ve got y- Ow!"

 

Stiles glances away from the road quickly to see Scott cradling his hand and glaring at Derek. "Dude, what?" He can't really see much else without ending up crashing the jeep but he could certainly feel Derek trying to snuggle closer to his stomach, still very much on his lap.

 

"He bit me! Derek bit me!”

 

"Scott... seriously?" 

 

"That - that... oh, god, I'm bleeding!"

 

"You have werewolf healing powers,” Stiles deadpans. 

 

"You need to lay down the line, Stiles," Scott says, matter-of-factly, ignoring Stiles completely. "Teach him. No biting. No! Bad!” He directs the last to Derek, who, like his human counterpart, is completely unfazed and chooses to yawn in response.

 

Stiles frowns. "How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

 

He could see Scott shrug in his peripheral vision. "I don't know, dude, google is your friend." 

 

“Says the Vet. That’s so helpful."

 

Scott sighs but, thankfully, continues. "I was just saying, perhaps you need to stand your ground with him, tell him who's boss.” He pauses. “At work, Deaton always taught me to be firm but fair with the animals. It teaches them to respect you, I guess. Derek seems really attached to you, though, perhaps you need to be more… uh…?” He scrunches his face up, clearly thinking way too hard.

 

Stiles thinks he knows where he’s getting at. “Motherly…?” He grimaces.

 

“Yeah!” Scott grins. “He hasn’t left your side since you first saw him. It’s like he loves you, Dude! That’s so ador-“

 

“Okay okay,” Stiles twitches uncomfortably. “I’ll tell him off if he bites again, okay? Happy? You just better hope Derek doesn’t kill me when he’s human again.”

 

Scott nods, satisfied, and then yawns loudly. “Man, no sleep. How are we going to survive school? And no sleep after school; major Derek problem to sort out,” he points an accusing finger at Derek, who growls adorably and snaps at it. Stiles can almost feel Scott’s pointed frown aimed at the side of his face as he pulls the jeep into the vet’s parking lot. 

Stiles sighs, parks, and looks down at Derek. “No, Derek.” Derek looks up, panting happily at Stiles’ attention. “No biting, okay?” He tries for firm, and Derek barks at him, but whether Derek actually understands now is one to be considered. “I tried, dude,” Stiles chuckles, grabbing his keys and Derek in each hand and just about managing to close the door with his foot.

Scott snorts and rolls his eyes. “Let’s just let Deaton take a look at Derek, keep whatever he must know about it to himself, and confuse the hell out of us, okay?”

 

Stiles nods, seriously. “Okay.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I was going for a story here but really just might make a one-shot or something... Well, in due time.
> 
> I'm one of those procrastinator thingys.


End file.
